Se La Vie…

Well, it has been what feels like aeons since I last posted. I’ve been through a metamorphosis of sorts. I realized that when you throw a bone in an offerance of friendship and the person you are throwing it to turns up a nose that it is time to let it go…so, I am letting go of the idea that “hotness” and I will EVER be friends. It was hard for me to do. I get attached easily. I love people freely; and, I put people on pedestals..perhaps that is the problem…even though I think people are perfect no matter what they do, when one has a knowledge of my deep admiration…well, I guess it can be disconcerting.

The “getting over” something that I thought would lead to an amazing friendship was hard to do. I pretty much had a down-ward spiral and stayed in bed for four days (not something I am inclined to do, as normally I am a pretty  happy, bubbly person)…but I was saddened. I felt loss…loss hope, loss of discovery…loss of motivation…loss of enrichment…loss of trust (of myself, mostly)…and loss of a vision whereby I’d have a friend who is an exceptional Health Care Professional give me a little guidance. I know that sounds like I was out to manipulate the friendship I desired in an unethical way, but I wouldn’t have…just to talk about perspectives, to have someone who is brilliant give feedback would have been phenomenal. And, I would have given back anything needed THAT WAS LEGAL AND  MORAL with all of my heart, mind, soul — every fiber of my being.

Another component of  my metamorphosis was realizing that if I am not obtaining means and mechanisms to grow my skills at the facility in which I work that I need to go to a facility, at least a few days a month, that will enable me and empower me to do so….therefore, I am job hunting for a second job. Ideally, I would like to be in an acute setting whereby I see more critical cardiac cases that translates to the reading of harder telemetry strips. This would enhance all the study that I am doing. I plan to take the National Certification test at the end of April. If that opportunity is not available, then I’d like to work in a Dialysis environment since I am a Certified Dialysis Technician.

Another “change” that is positive in general is that I have a definitive start date for RT school. I will start April 13th. I am going over all of the Anatomy, Physiology, Chemistry, Biology, and Pathophysiogy I can to be as prepared as possible. I am reading a book entitled “CardioPulmonary System Review,” which starts at homeostatis and advances to more complex information and formularies.

So, I’ve  had personal progression and digression simultaneously over the past few weeks..and I am somehow becoming a little wiser…to the point whereby I can sometimes non-chalantly say: “that’s life.”