Ugly Tree x Infinity…

A Christmas Meme…

1. Wrapping Paper or Gift Bags? It depends on the time I have allotted to wrap gifts. If I have time to add extras, like ribbon or something artistic, I like to wrap. Otherwise, gift bags can be a beautiful way to enclose a present and is a great time saver.
2. Real Tree or Artificial?I prefer real trees. Like Trauma Junkie, my favorite is the Douglas fir. However, we’ve had a fake one for a few years. We got it mostly because we bought a home and the fire hazards associated with a real tree (especially when our cats climb it) were scary. The smell of a real tree is one of the most memorable ever – I daydream of Christmases past and recount the wonderful traditions we have. I’m not really religious, and consider myself more of a mystic, but when it is dark and the tree is lit up there is a reverence that falls over one that is pure magic and goodness itself.
3. When do you put up the tree? When we purchase real trees we always put it up on the 10th of December. With the artificial tree we put it up on Thanksgiving, or a few days thereafter.
4. When do you take the tree down? If we are going with a live tree it is taken down the day after Christmas. We leave the artificial tree up until January 2^nd.
5. Do you like eggnog? Some years I crave it and others it is just too rich for my taste-buds or stomach. This year I had one glass and it was enough.
6. Favorite gift received as a child? A bible that had a multitude of artwork in it. It is not a standard King James version bible, yet the cover is striking…blue in color with a depiction of Jesus surrounded by children. I still have it. I think it is one of my favorite gifts because it was given to me by my dad before my parents divorced.
7. Hardest person to buy for? My mother. She is simply a prima donna. This year I took the coward’s way out because it hurts my feelings when I get what I think is a great gift and she indicates she is returning it. I got her a gift card and she can spend it on what she chooses. That way we will both be happy! LOL.
8. Easiest person to buy for? My grand-baby. She is 3 and I started a tradition whereby I give her a star and a box. The star is because she radiates beauty and light – she is our little “Star.” The box because she represents hope for my little non-traditional family (she is half Asian and there were issues with my step-daughters growing up, her entrance into the world brought hope and happiness to our complicated family and brought us together in many positive ways). And at 3, although her “traditional items” are a little odd, she carries around her box and her star as if they were precious treasures.
9. Do you have a nativity scene? Yes. It is beautiful and the first expensive item I bought in my marriage. It is a Lennox all white nativity scene. It is beautiful.
10. Mail or email Christmas cards? Even though e-mail is a great time-saver, I think it is poor etiquette to send e-mail Christmas cards (or even birthday cards for that matter). But I guess I need to get used to the trend…I just got a wedding invitation via e-mail! However, I do prefer to mail Christmas cards…I love to write and so when I send cards, I spend countless hours on each card writing the most beautiful and positive thoughts for the recipient. Unfortunately, I used to send hundreds of cards and now it is down to a mere 20 because of time issues.
11. Worst Christmas gift you ever received? I got a thong with the $2.99 price tag still on it, not from my Spouse, but from his Sister who is loaded. I thought it was a really tacky gift. It was a clear message due to the dynamics at the time..”I was not welcome as a part of the family, nor was I worthy of her presence.” Now it is a memory my husband and I laugh over. He couldn’t beleive his Sister did that…even if she had meant it as a joke, it wasn’t funny.
12. Favorite for Christmas dinner? Ham. We do Turkey for our Thanksgiving dinner and then ham for Christmas.
13. When do you start shopping for Christmas? I used to get all of my shopping done in October and everything wrapped by the end of November. The last two years, however, I didn’t start shopping until after finals…so usually around the 14^th of December. Luckily I found a boutique where I can find just about everything. And, I shop on-line now. I feel the cost of the shipping fees are well worth it as I am not standing in lines or fighting over wanted items. I have less stress when I shop via the net.
14. Have you ever recycled a Christmas present? Yes. I do believe in re-gifting if you don’t particularly like something but know someone who would love it. And, since tastes vary, I always tell everyone I know that I don’t mind if they re-gift anything I’ve given.
15. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas? Anything that is home-cooked and not fast-food or from the hospital cafeteria.
16. Lights on the tree? I love the lights on a tree. My husband used to wrap them around the traditional way and then take two additional strands and zig-zag them up and down the tree vertically. I always had the best lights. This year, he didn’t add lights to our tree (ugliest tree x infinity) because he thought the l.e.d lights would be sufficient. They aren’t – they don’t even FLASH!!! Oh, and the lights MUST be colored…white is beautiful for some trees, but I describe my tree as a country Victorian-esque tree with many beautiful homemade items and lots of red and green. This year I was so disappointed by the tree and had so many stressors, we didn’t pull out all of the ornaments. I just decorated with ribbon and the new ornaments we get annually.
17. Favorite Christmas song? Like Trauma Junkie, my favorite is Carol of the Bells by Transiberian Orchestra (featuring Metallica); I also like this version as sung in the film “The Santa Clause.”
18. Travel at Christmas or stay home? Being home for the Holiday’s and recreating traditions, as well as, beautiful memories, warms my heart. I love to travel, but prefer to do it during other times during the year.
19. Angel on the tree top or a star? I have an angel made of white twine. It works with my tree, but I think stars on trees are beautiful, too.
20. Open the presents Christmas Eve or morning? As a child, my Sister and I used to open up one present on Christmas Eve and it was always pajamas. Now as an adult my husband and I open gifts Christmas morning as I am coming off of a graveyard shift. Since it is just us, our service commitment is to work so those that have children home can enjoy the Holiday’s with their family.  My step-daughters and their children live in another state and so they open their presents either a week before or a week after Christmas.

My Manager…the Epitome of the Idiots…

I am irritated by the following e-mail I received from my manager. Instead of discussing these issues in a recent staff meeting he sent updates that affect everyone’s life via the net. I do not think this man knows how to communicate unless it relates to stuffing things under the carpet…

“We held department manager meeting today and there are a few things I need to remind you all about:
1. There will be a mock JCAHO survey some time in the next two weeks. I asked all of you to come bring your binders into me so we could go over them, so far I have only spoken with a couple employees. Please try to talk to me sometime this week. Please do not ignore alarms either the surveryor will want to see that all staff. tele tech and med surg staff are responding to the patient tele alarms.

**This irritates me for a few reasons…he never asked us to bring our certification/inservice binders to him he left a note on a POST IT with instructions that we had until the end of December to see him…now with plans for a mock JCAHO he wants it sooner? Furthermore, we the Tele’s, watch those alarms and per corporate aren’t allowed to ever silence or turn them off…even when the computer mistakenly calls an irregular heart beat A-Fib or when the patient is dying and has a DNR/DNI status… Also, I HATE JCAHO protocols…it seems to me that it is just a bunch of extra paperwork and protocols to follow (that never have much to do with the patient, but more to do with cya and liability issues) which convolutes methodologies for caring for a patient while at the same time ensuring a rating that the public could care less about….

“2..I will be re-working the staffing matrix. We will try to add to the support staff at night and balance it out elsewhere. Please keep in mind not everyone will be happy and someone will have to give something up in order for it to work. Initially you told us that the most important thing to you was that you were never here alone. We gave that to you and now it is apparent that lack of support staff is a bigger issue. Feel free to offer any suggestions and we will try to incorporate them into our new plan.

**The newest matrix, released about a month ago, caused everyone to rebel. Nurses allowed support staff  (i.e. the Unit Secretaries and the Aides) to work entire shifts when the census didn’t call for it according to the staffing protocol. They did this because we would be down to 2 patients and then get slammed with 4 admits right at shift change…the nurses couldn’t do vitals, total patient care, assessments, med passes, med mixes, AND input orders…Hmmm ya’d think you would have a clue as to why new matrix didn’t work. DUH! Not that I expect the new one to be much better, but maybe management will rethink the 6 patients 1 nurse – 1 aide; send aide home upon 7th admit, bringing another nurse in and thus, placing aide on call until there are 11 patients….RIDICULOUS!!!!
“3.. Our rapid response team is in place and ready. To initiate their involvement page overhead anytime of day “Rapid Response Team to Med surg” two times do not review by the team. This is a team that responds to any worsening change in the patient’s condition. They are the pre-code team and their involvement is
strictly informational.

**What friggin’ legit  hospital has a PRE CODE team? This was implemented because in Med-Surg, the new nurses, right out of nursing school only get 3 days of orientation instead of two weeks and have been calling code blue status on patients when they should have just notified respiratory because the patient was having labored breathing. WHAT THE HELL???? I really am annoyed by this one above all because isn’t it the manager’s responsibility job to engage the employee when mistakes are made? Perhaps give advice when one’s newness doesn’t dictate the correct protocol?
“4. Please don’t become so frustrated of the difficult things at our work that wedon’t appreciate the things that are going well. Please see the article in our med room regarding recent changes at other hospitals and be appreciative that we are not there (yet) The economy will continue to bring changes to everyones work
environment. The trick will be in finding happiness in the things we can do well.”

**This last one is because my manager does not know how conflict negotiation works. He just removed our best Tele and relegated her to work Med-Surg as a full time C.N.A. He did this because his regular C.N.A had many patient complaints and wasn’t working with two of the day-shift nurse’s well. Instead of suspending the aide for bad behavior,  and conduct; and,  enforcing a customer service training or dealing with the toxicity between the employees…he rewarded the aide that was acting up and punished our wonderful Tele. It is an egregious action and so many are fed up and complaining…so much so that corporate has made all of us watch a “disruptive behavior” video. Comment 4…another insult to my intelligence…”let’s just cause chaos and pretend we didn’t by wrapping it in a nice fluffy Christmas bow.”

So…admist all of the dumb shiz going on we are told it is all because we are over budget. Then a week later we receive a brand new copy machine and the hospital gets signage… WHATEVER!!!

But the thing that probably irks me the most about this e-mail to me is that the guy didn’t even bother to capitalize things that should have been capitalized. I know my grammar and punctuation is not stellar but it is because I choose to be a creative writer…I am not in a Professional, Technical position..this guy IS and fails (in my mind anyway) to even have a Professional Presence in his writing. I AM SOOOOO BUGGED!!!!! And I know it is really petty to be bugged, I just can’t help myself….

By George, I Think I’ve Got It…

I have been struggling with the idea of going to Nursing school. What I really want to do is become a Perfusionist, however, to do the intense program offered at the Texas Heart Institute, it is imperative that I get a clinical back-ground that has a lot more depth than what a Dialysis Tech, Tele Tech, or C.N.A. does. I chose the Nursing route merely because I was challenged to pursue it. I rarely dismiss a dare. In the past few months, I have seen the toll the Nursing shortage and terrible staffing patterns that Nurse’s face has affected my Nurse’s. Many of them are not enjoing their jobs. They are going through the motions and are ALWAYS stressed out. Also, the Nursing Programs in my Bible belt State are hard to get into because Nursing is accepted as a traditional, female and mom-oriented job…so women within the predominant religion choose it as their career option becuase it fits in with their religious and family values. Recently I have been having discussions with at RT who has encouraged me to consider the option of Respiratory Therapy school. She feels that one has a lot more control over the way their day to day job is managed as an RT than a Nurse does. In our state one takes 2 years of course work to obtain an A.S. degree and become a Registered Respiratory Therapist. Thereafter, only three  independent study classes are required (each a semester long) for one to obtain a Bachelor of Science in Respiratory Therapy. The advantage I would have if I pursue this plan of action is that I would be able to get one of the large hospital chains to pay for all of my tuition and ALL books. The requirement would be a two year contract with that hospital. All I would need to do is complete 2 BIO MEDICAL classes, Intro. to Respiratory Therapy, and I am ready to apply for the program. If accepted I would start RT school in Fall of 2009. I’d be finishing up the A.S. degree right about the time I would be removed from the wait-list to start the R.N. program. To have an opportunity to get my education paid for plus  be  allowed to work in a focused field that pays a lot better than what I average as a Tele Tech seems like an ideal way to further personal goals. Also, who doesn’t want a guaranteed job right out of school? I’ve been bored with the Nursing classes, and seem to excel in the following areas: Cardio, Pulmonary, and Dialysis (Kidney function stuff)…so just considering going to RT school I feel inspired AND excited about learning again. My focus is back and I got a 96% on my last Patho. test. If I finish the RT education and then get accepted to Nursing school, I’d have an income base that would help me finance Nursing school without procuring another contract. With the income I project, I should be able to pay bills, go to school, and save a modest amount for Perfusion training. Then combining the two “careers” it should only take me only another year to save to go to Texas. My academic advisor feels that over the next two semesters taking some of the advanced science classes I should be able to bring my gpa up from a 3.42 back to a 3.6 cumulutive (my overall gpa for school is a 3.42, science gpa is 3.2 so the cumulative would come up as would the science grade, giving me a great chance of getting accepted into RT school — particularly because I have a “point scoring” advantage from the two degrees I currently possess). I talked to my partner about this slight alteration of plan and he said that he wondered why I hadn’t thought of this alternative before…he aptly reminded me that whenever anything pertaining to respiratory health or cardiac systems is on the Discovery Health channel that I am riveted. Also, he reminded me that there is a reason I carry around a “snot rag bag” when I am ill — I am not afraid of snot, or other gunk….I am very comfortable with it in fact….So, it seems like I have found a way out of feeling “stuck” and have some new goals. Now if I can simply get the grades I need…things just may have a way of coming together after all. If not, by the time I am 45 I have decided to emulate one of my favorite people… Kitty from  “That 70’s Show.”If all the work, planning, and inertia of my life does not come together  within 6 years time then my back up plan is to become a closet drunk!!! (But I promise I won’t EVER be a patient if I inflict problems from alcoholism on myself!!!). LOL. It is good to have an alternative that makes me smile…

Things That Make Me Go, Hmmm….

99 Things I’ve Done….

To participate just copy and paste in your own blog, and bold all of the things you have done. Happy discoveries!
1. Started your own blog
2. Slept under the stars
3. Played in a band
4. Visited Hawaii
5. Watched a meteor shower
6. Given more than you can afford to charity
7. Been to Disneyland
8. Climbed a mountain
9. Held a praying mantis
10. Sang a solo
11. Bungee jumped
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea
14. Taught yourself an art from scratch
15. Adopted a child
16. Had food poisoning
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty
18. Grown your own vegetables
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France
20. Slept on an overnight train
21. Had a pillow fight
22. Hitch hiked
23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill
24. Built a snow fort
25. Held a lamb
26. Gone skinny dipping
27. Run a Marathon
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice
29. Seen a total eclipse
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset
31. Hit a home run
32. Been on a cruise
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors
35. Seen an Amish community
36. Taught yourself a new language
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person
39. Gone rock climbing
40. Seen Michelangelo’s David
41. Sung karaoke
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant
44. Visited Africa
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight
46. Been transported in an ambulance
47. Had your portrait painted
48. Gone deep sea fishing
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling
52. Kissed in the rain
53. Played in the mud
54. Gone to a drive in theater
55. Been in a movie
56. Visited the Great Wall of China
57. Started a business
58. Taken a martial arts class
59. Visited Russia
60. Served at a soup kitchen
61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies
62. Gone whale watching
63. Got flowers for no reason
64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma
65. Gone sky diving
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp
67. Bounced a check
68. Flown in a helicopter (but I did help co-pilot a Cessna and now I am hooked on flying)
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial
71. Eaten Caviar
72. Pieced a quilt
73. Stood in Times Square
74. Toured the Everglades
75. Been fired from a job
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London
77. Broken a bone
78. Been on a speeding motorcycle
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person
80. Published a book
81. Visited the Vatican
82. Bought a brand new car
83. Walked in Jerusalem
84. Had your picture in the newspaper
85. Read the entire Bible
86. Visited the White House
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
88. Had chickenpox
89. Saved someone’s life
90. Sat on a jury
91. Met someone famous
92. Joined a book club
93. Lost a loved one
94. Had a baby (I can’t get this one to unbold. I’ve never had a baby full term.)
95. Seen the Alamo in person
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake
97. Been involved in a law suit
98. Owned a cell phone
99. Been stung by a bee

Positive Affirmations…

So much of what I write is a way in which I can vent about work situations that make me feel incompetent and/or inadequate…or are things that happen that hurt my sensitive nature or work ethic. However, I really do admire and adore those I have the opportunity to work with. I try to work hard and have an excellent work ethic merely because I know I am ignorant about many things pertaining to health care; and, I truly want to do a good job.  I have a desire to learn and expand my horizons, and most members of my Hospital team are excellent in helping me reach that goal. Sometimes, I am indimidated by these perfect people I work with…I feel flawed in so many ways. These people are not only at the top of their game in thier jobs as Nurse’s, RT’s, but amazing people personally; and, most honestly are so beautiful in appearance that it is often overwhelming for me who is a little below average in the looks and smarts department to feel like I fit in. So, last night was an excellent night for me. I realized that even though I may be lacking, there are people who care about me and think I do well…I even got a nice compliment about my personality from my idol; and, my Nurse’s appreciate all I do to help. I felt valued. Feeling that way is probably the most important thing that I need in my life to feel successful.

So, despite all the hard-ships that I face personally and professionally, I aim to try as hard as I can to always give 110% — if not for the patient, but for those who rely on my skill to assist.

A patient on this same night whose prognosis from Prostate Cancer is not good said to me: “you will be successful in life if you always attempt to understand and enjoy the lesson.”

While I may not always see the glass as half full, I know that my “semi-professional” life is perfect and positive; and, I am lucky to have the opportunities I have — work with the stars I work with. I feel blessed.

Because 8 Divided By 2 is 4….

4 Jobs I Have Had In My Life:
1. Telemarketer for Jaylynn Photography 2. Library Aide 3. Banking Account Manager 4. Telemetry Technician.

4 Movies I Could Watch Over and Over: 1. The Color Purple 2. Shawshank Redemption 3. Legally Blonde 4. The Wizard of Oz – wow! Epiphany! They all have a common theme (re-inventing one’s self, which I am in the process of).

4 Websites I Visit Regularly: 1. care2.com (I gotta make a difference somehow, DUH!) 2. Keepbreathing.wordpress.com. 3. Victoria’s Secret 4. Decadent Tranquility.

4 of my Favorite Foods: 1. Pomello’s 2. Chips and salsy 3. Asparagus 4. Artichoke’s.

4 of my Favorite Drinks: 1. Water 2. Bankok Tea 3. Tab 4. Whiskey sour’s

4 Places I Would Rather Be Right Now: 1. Egypt 2. Jamaica 3. Hiking Macchu Picu 4. Skydiving.

4 Most Wonderful Places I Have Been: 1. Virginia City, NV. 2. Southern Utah 3. Germany 4. Canada.

4 Books I Could Read Over and Over: 1. The Count of Monte Cristo 2. Persuasion 3. The Walking Drum 4. The complete works of T.S. Elliott.

4 Songs I Could Listen To Everyday: 1. Here Comes the Rain Again (Eurythmics) 2. Gregorian Chants 3. Anything by U2 4. Every Rose Has its Thorns (Poison).

4 Reasons I Blog: 1. To Bitch and Moan 2. To Be un-P.C. 3. Therapy 4. Creative Writing Outlet.

4 Reasons I Like Obama: 1. I like his plan on getting us out of Iraq 2. He is a Democrat 3. All of the urban myths and legends the Mo-Mo’s tout about his name ALONE! 4. His plethora of education.